The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
