508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
