dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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