oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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