I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
