yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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