how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Randomize
