Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
