Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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