I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
