New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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