so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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