What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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