after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize