And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
