the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
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How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
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This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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