Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
