I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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