He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
