I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We just shotgunned beers for America
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It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
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I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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