I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I fill condoms, not promises.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
