Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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