All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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