Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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