his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i came on her dog
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
