just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
