5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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