dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
