I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
