I wanna passion pit in your ass
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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