I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
