he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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