I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
