Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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