You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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