My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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