Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
