If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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