Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
