How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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