Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
