It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
