i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
