Its about making memories worth repressing
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
