Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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