i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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