My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
