So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
