I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
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I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
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Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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