you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize