I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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