He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
