just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
