Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
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Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
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Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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