omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
