Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
