you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
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She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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