I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
