How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this beer tastes like vomit already
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
