so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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