just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize