the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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