I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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